You know what?
Weekends don't mean the same things as they used to in middle school, or elementary, or LAST YEAR.
Expecting senior year to be chill from a freshman point of view seems ironic.

Monday:
no first! muahahah!
second period blehhh
snack: Wozniak Talk
third period whaaaa
fourth period mehhhh
lunch: yearboooooook duties!
fifth period wah wah
sixth period whateveeeer.
After school: Studying/AD-hunting/catch-up time with Monica in Montrose
I LOVE YOU MONICA!
Home: "study" "learn about calculus" talk about life and essays, and me complaining more.
Monica goes home.
I do my hww~
and then KNOCK OUT.. at 2:30? or 1:30? same thing either way to me now.. -0-

Today: Tuesday:
BANKING DAY!!!
first period: spirit spectacular preparation for thanksgiving alumni basketball game half time performance.
second period: play to flute, and waste life.. lol not really x]
snack: Talk with Mr SAAAAW! Throw counselor forms to Rubio.
third period: boring..... boring.... but what's new? lol
fourth period: test planned for tomorrow PUSHED BACK! to friday!! muahah cause she finally noticed that she doesn't really teach us and that literally all of her students are lost out of their minds.
lunch: Music Officer Fundraiser meeting, Yearbook dutiesss.
fifth period: stress stress, yell at people, stress, stress
sixth period: make and sing a song with crystal that we made to help us memorize the bones.
After school: yearbook from 3:00-3:30. cheer from 3:30 to 5:30. yearbook from 5:30 to 7:00

and from like 7:00 to now.
waste life. shower. lay on my floor and think. lose track of time. and i think im ready to sleep now.
yeahyeah? no hww!
well i do.. but nothing like OMGOSHH IMPORTANT
and ive decided that i had too much of an exhausting day today to work on college apps.

imma print out the college things and stare at them throughout the day tmrw

PEACE!

MMM. WEEEKEND...
Today:
No first periodddd.
Second period whatever.
Third period whatever.
Snack teaccher meeting.
Fourth period whatever.
Fifth period things.
Sixth period blehhh.
Panda express.
After school eic late night.
Home.
Cue! date with jenny.
Arcadia promenade.
Home. blehhh

Michael Jackson's THIS IS IT was amazing.
But that's just because I'm kind of a die-hard fan X]
It was basically a lot of concert rehearsal footage.
And some dancer interviews and just funny things Michael would do.
Made me want to go sing and dance.
And hung out with Janine, and my new friends Cynthia and Jeremy.
I wish all Asians could speak the same language.
Anyhoo. Ate pho and went to urban outfitters..
Been a while since I was out of my daily routines and got to play for a bit.
Got home and did my homework.
Knocked out to my own good at 2am.
Woke up around 6:45am got ready leave for school.
First period drag. More of my coach yelling upon her anger.
Second period weekly flute scale test and librarian work.
Snack cheer rally and run to Wozniak right after to talk about college
and give her teacher rec info and thangs.
Third period boring ap english class.
Fourth period whatever ap calc class.
Lunch yearbook interview and grub on my spagetti and bread from home.
Fifth period bloody missed deadline wall.
Sixth period physio bone memorization quiz.
After school cheer girl gathering
went to starbucks. YUMMY holiday menu.
Arcadia football game.
Suprisingly i didn't bawl.
Only teared up here and there.
lots of hugging today.
yeah

I'm tired.

These updates of mine are boring.
Just a recap of my boring life.
but I love coming back to read them.

I'm confused with certain things happening right now...
I wish I could talk to somebody about it that could just listen to me
and tell me that they understand my position
and that they understand that I don't have the courage to do things.
BLECKKKKKK MOLA

I'mma go listen to
Wheesung (휘성) - Rose
on repeat now.

PAYCE.

Hmmm. What to write about..
So Monday was an okay day.
We got our one and only last senior rally ever!
I think I'm going to cry. Not right now, but later.
Even though I don't really enjoy being a part of cheer.
And I could care less where I am in the choreography.
And all that whining jazz I do,
I can't believe four years is already almost passing by.
Even though I don't fit into the "cheerleader" type,
I really don't know how I would have been in high school
if I wasn't a part of this team. Seriously.
I ate breathed was cheer my high school life.
From dreadful hot sticky summers and hell week
to happy fun games, rallies and assemblies,
cheer took up A LOT of my high school life.
I'm actually really glad that I was and am a part of it.
I wouldn't have been into a lot of the school events
if it weren't for cheer.
I would be probably clueless and would have never been to a football game.
Which reminds me! ARCADIA FOOTBALL GAME THIS THURSDAY!
SENIOR RECOGNITION NIGHT!
AND I'LL BE ONE OF THOSE FOUR-YEAR SENIORS.
WOWW. Honestly, I don't feel like a senior.
But I guess when all seniors become seniors,
they're all just shocked at how fast three years can go by.
Sighh. Got to make memoriess.
And then after all that fun school stuff on Monday.
I went to Montrose with fellow yb buddy Janine.
We went ad hunting and tried to do some community service.
Had an awesome talk when we had to wait for our ride.
And then I went home.
Ate. Stress. Cry. Nap. Woke up.
ALL-NIGHTER.
Why? because I was finishing homework
I was fixing my calc binder for notebook quiz.
And I attempted to make progress in college apps.
I don't know.
And then it was 7:00am, so I got ready for school.
Went to cheer at 7:45 because we had to be there then.
And then all that fun stressful school things,
where I'm busy during snack because of music
and busy during lunch because of cheer of yearbook.
And then right at 3:00 I run to yearbook room to work more
3:30 I run to cheer practice
5:00 Cheer practice ended early and I ran to yearbook
9:00 Carineh and I notice it got too late and she takes me home.

Oh Joy.
And I wasn't even that tired.
And then I come home
Do some things, Talk to people.
Sing (more like scream) disney songs, michael jackson songs, and mariah carey songs with my mom.
Talk to her about my life (which is usually me complaining to her)
And knock out around 11:30

Woke up today at 8:00am.
Proud of myself.

Anyhoo.
I felt like babbling about my life on xanga.

And today I'm watchign THIS IS IT!
With Janine.
Muahahhaa

So I'm going to work on things until I go watch it
And hopefully I can make it to FCF awakening.
Sighhhh

LIFE

So today was the second of three new pastors/jdsn's that my church faced, is facing, and will face.
They all really have good things to contribute.
And all really can help each and every one of us to be closer to God.

So, some of us pray/prayed that the new pastor would be able to lead our small youth group closer to God.
But honestly. I don't think that's what we should be praying about. Or let alone be worrying about.
Yes. That is DEFINITELY an important thing. Especially because he/she would be giving us weekly/biweekly sermons.
But hey, that's what my past six-year running jdsn has been doing splendidly.
It's just the youth group that hasn't been responding towards what God has been speaking through her.

This week's and last week's guest pastors both spoke about prayer.
And it was a wake-up call for me.
Like honestly speaking, I practically have no prayer life at all.
Dead. Non-existent.
By prayer life, I mean, setting aside time to just talk to Him.
Not only before meals. But the minute I wake up and the minute I go to bed.
And just having a spot in my room where I go to daily to just sit or kneel and pray to Him.

Sigh. Today as I was leading bible study at church, I asked them how seriously they're taking it all.
If they truly felt the urgency of God and a new lifestyle in Him.
How much God is wanting to talk to us.
And if we're truly there responding to Him.

Many of us live different lives for the four five six days we're not at church.
But God is always the same.
No matter how different it seems at school, church, or home.
God is always the same God.

I don't know.
We're such bipolar children.

Many of us don't like people who are indecisive, who keep changing their minds, who are considered "flakes", or who are bipolar or whatnot.
And that's exactly how we are towards God.
And that's how He views us.
We're so easily tossed by the wind.

I don't know...

Matthew 7:21-23
"Not everyone who says to me, 'Lord, Lord,' will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only he who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. Many will say to me on that day, 'Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and in your name drive out demons and perform many miracles?' Then I will tell them plainly, 'I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers!'

And college apps are going blehhhhh as usual.